A New Path
by twilight-bellaXjacob-4ever
Summary: What if Bella wasn't full of so much forgiveness? What if who healed her heart, got to keep it forever?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello readers, I just wanted to let you know that I am, and will always be a Jacob Black fan. My stories will mostly reflect that, and I understand that Edward fans might be offended by some of the stuff in my stories, so if you are a truly a strong Edward lover, I suggest you read another story!**

_Things in italics are direct quotes from any of the books._

**DISCLAIMER: Obviously all twilight plot and characters are owned by SM.**

**BPOV**

Prologue:

Sometimes, things seem like everything you have ever wanted has disappeared. Sometimes, things make the world seem dull and gray. That is when you really need to see, or find, the reason to live. And over the last few months; I have found my own way, into a new life of happiness. I found a new reason to live, healing up my heartache from the absence of him. I revolve around something new, something healthier.

1. Longing

In these last few months, my whole life has changed. Pain is my constant companion. Sometimes it's almost bearable; while other times my chest feels like it has a giant hole in it. Think about the reason only makes it worse. What is the cause of all this pain? Love for a person infinitely more precious than anything you could have ever dreamed of; until you met my Edward. Thinking his name, the hole in my chest started to throb. Before I knew it, I was having hysterics. While already incapacitated by the pain, why not think of the precious memories I couldn't bear to lose? That last day in the forest, when he told me;

_I'm … tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella._

_You're not good for me._

I remember trying to make him want to stay with an imperfect human like me, and realizing that I could do nothing to keep him here. His family needed to leave; I was just a catalyst that made them move on faster. I was gracious for every second he blessed me with his presence; moments I will never forget. Moments that, right now, hurt to remember. I can never repay me for the joy he placed in my life, but I was forever going to try. And that is why I made that promise:

_Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?_

_I nodded helplessly._

_I'll make you a promise in return, he said, this will be the last time you see me. It'll be as if I never existed._

Although I had kept my promise to this day, I had the sudden urge to break it to forget what he said but I couldn't understand why. Can't I do him this one little favor, after all he had given me? Of course, but something urged me to stop myself of letting him enjoy his side of the bargain. Even though he left me, I had to believe he still somewhat cared for me. After all _I'll always love you…in a way._ I mean that sounds like he cares, somewhat, right? "But not even enough to think about the pain he knew he was inflicting" I though to myself. I clutched at the whole, and let the misery have me. I was thankful that I had to stay as normal as possible for Charlie. After all, I didn't want my pain, to be his pain. Just then I remembered I really should start dinner for him, and looked at the clock. 5:15, guess it's a simple dinner for the night. I walked down the stairs, not really noticing much when the phone started ringing. I picked it up quickly, not wanting the extra noise. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells" It was Charlie, no surprise there. My friends used to call, but they got tired of waiting for a call back that was never returned, "So I was wondering if you could make extra for dinner, because Billy and his son Jake wanted to join us tonight." Great, more people around to watch me nothingness. As hard as I wanted to hide my pain, I ended up in a haze. Not being able to separate one moment from the next most of the time. I didn't mind it; time slipping away from me was all I ever wanted out of life. Less time to dwell on other parts of my life, like the emptiness I had become.

"Sure, Dad." Company just distracted my dad from my misery. I was wondering about Jake though. The last time I saw him was when I first moved here, and when I first learned about what E- he was. "I have to cook now, dad. Bye."

"Bye, hon."

I pulled out the ingredients to make really easy homemade mac and cheese for dad. It was an easy thing to make in large quantities. As I turned the burner on high to get the water boiling, I finally figured out why I wanted to break my promise. He already had broken his the moment it left his mouth. _It'll be as if I never existed._ As if I would ever forget his presence in my life, the happiest years I would ever have. The hole was burning at the edges, and I clutched my chest reflexively. I wish that it could hold me together. I finished dinner and put it in the oven just as I heard the knock on the door. Obviously it was Billy and his son early, Charlie wouldn't knock on his own front door. What a silly thought. I put on the bets "not happy but close enough" face and went to get the door.

**JPOV**

I knocked on the door, not knowing what to expect inside. Charlie wasn't home yet, and I knew from what Charlie had told dad that Bella wasn't in such good shape since the Cullens left town. I didn't have anything against them, accept for the pain they brought to the girl I remember from my childhood summers. Making mud pies and laughing at my house. Charlie was sad at home; knowing that Bella was in so much pain didn't help much.

Just then the door opened, and I saw Bella's poor excuse for a fake smile. Under her eyes were purpley bruise like shadows, and she look way too pale. Bella was always naturally pale, but right now she looked sickly. She was way too thin, as if she hadn't eaten very much in awhile. She had her arms firmly crossed in front of her, as if she was trying to keep herself together. That's at least what it seemed like to me. "Come in guys," she said, her voice flat and empty. It sent chills down my spine. I pushed dad in and asked I f there was anything I could help her with and she just shook her head. I decided I might as well start a conversation with her, take her mind off things, "So how's school going? What grade are you in again?"

She looked up at me with a surprised expression, before she collected her thoughts and answered. "It's okay I guess. I've been doing really well lately in classes. I'm a junior, you?"

**BPOV**

I couldn't help but looked a little shocked when Jake asked me about school. I tried to reign in the emotion, which could only be shock, from my face to answer his question, "I-It's okay I guess," I almost blushed with embarrassment from my stuttering. "I've been doing really well lately in classes. I-I'm a junior, you?" Wow, I can't answer a single question without sounding stupid. I blushed this time, and couldn't believe it. I can't remember the last time I blushed with any emotion. I had no reason for why all of the sudden I could. Only that Jacob had to have been the reason behind it. After all this time, I had forgotten that Jake really was a cool guy. He seemed to find it amusing that I was blushing, and smiled pretty big.

"Well, school's okay. Boring down on the rez, but you get used to that. I have these two best friends, Quil and Embry that I spend most of my time with. I am rebuilding a Volkswagen rabbit, did you know that?" He looked at me with a huge sense of pride, widening his grin a little.

"Umm, I think Charlie's mentioned it before." I said, holding back another blush of embarrassment at my hesitation and at my lack of response. "How long is it going to take?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I need a lot of parts, so I need to save up some more money first…" And after that he got really into it. Rambling on and on in car language I don't even understand. His eagerness to impress put a smile on my lips. Not the fake one I use to delude Charlie or his company, a genuine one. I was smiling because I felt like it, it was involuntary. Jacob's energy radiated out of him and was infectious. When Charlie walked in, Jake and I were still engrossed in conversation. I like it, because unlike conversations with the many other people I know, I didn't have to think about when to nod or look interested; I really was interested. When the time had 10 minutes left I started making the salad. Jake insisted on helping me cut up the veggies as we talked about his life. Every once in awhile he'd ask me a direct question, concerned that he was doing all the talking. I immediately told him I was a better listener than a talker, and he finally believed me. When dinner was ready I called in Charlie and Billy. The dinner table was quiet as the guys devoured their food. I guess the macaroni was really good! Billy insisted they had to leave, that Jake needed to catch up on his homework. Charlie managed to drag Billy into the living room to watch the rest f the game. "Hey, so Bella?" Jake's tone was almost nervous, and a little embarrassed.

"Yeah" I turned to look at him, he quickly looked down at the floor.

"I was wondering if maybe you would wanna hang out this weekend. Or next, if you're too busy." He looked up with anticipating eyes.

"Ummm, I don't seem to be too busy, I could head down on Saturday? If that would work for you?" I sad. I already could tell that Jake was fun to be around, he'd even made me smile and blush.

He looked up, and his wide grin made a small smile appear on my face immediately. "Really? No, I'm not busy. Wanna meet down at first beach? I heard it's going to be kinda nice outside" Hois voice growing more excited as he thought of the possibilities.

"Sure, but can we meet at your house? I think I know my way there better."

"Sure, sure." Just the Billy and Charlie stood up. It was time for them to leave, and everyone said their goodbyes and they went on their merry way.

"You and Jake talked an awful lot, what was it about?" he said with hope in his eyes.

"School, friends, and stuff" A smile tugged at my lips and Charlie looked really happy to see it show up, even if it was a poor echo of what it used to be. I told him I had a long day and wanted to get into bed. I checked my email and went to sleep, bracing myself for the nightmare that haunted my sleep every night. The next thing I knew it was morning. I woke up to my alarm, without dreaming or screaming. I was amazed. I wondered how yesterday was different than any other day I had had, and then I saw the difference; Jacob Black.

**Please review and tell me what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; Thank you to **JacobBlackFanWereWolf, Augustmoon99, and GiftfromtheGods for reviews. Thank you to all the favorites and alerts! (:

**Disclaimer; SM owns all Twilight characters and related plots, only my plot twists are my own.**

* * *

I felt sorry for my Dad, for having to live with my screaming at night, the constant fears of maybe reminding me of _him_, but now that I might have a cure, it makes me feel better about it**. **I slowly drag myself up the stairs and into my room, clutching at my chest, trying to hold myself together. I think about the promise I made _him_ to do nothing reckless, because _he_ promised me something awful and impossible in return. Why should I keep my promise, when _his_ promise was broken as soon as_ he _had made it? I now wanted more than anything in the world to break my promise. I looked at the clock, 4:15, not too late to go for a drive. We could have leftovers for dinner, there were plenty considering I made a huge dinner every night to keep my mind off the pain. I ran down the stairs grabbed my jacket and turned to face Charlie. "I'm going for a drive; heat some leftovers for dinner, okay?"

"Sure Bells, where you headed?" Charlie asked, not even trying to hide the suspicion in his tone.

"The Blacks," I lied, "I miss seeing Jake. What are the directions to they're place, again?" I then listened to the unnecessary directions to La Push, when Charlie seemed to read my mind.

"I'll call and let them know you're coming." He said, and I nodded and sighed in disappointment. Hopefully, I could find something reckless there, because that was what I was searching for. My search was for something that I could do to break my promise, because **he** sure wasn't keeping **his.**

I jump into my car, hoping and wishing for something stupid and reckless to cross my path. Sure, this was a very dumb thing to do; it was more "teenager" than I had ever been. The thought of getting revenge at **him **for leaving me behind and all alone made me almost feel some emotion. The thought of breaking my promise, filled me with, not happiness, but not pain either. It filled me with more than numbness. This quest gave me contentment, and that was all I ever wanted out of life. As I scanned the road more closely I saw something lying on top of some tree branches. Two motorcycles were laying there under a "FOR SALE AS IS" sign. I went up to the house and asked, "How much for the bikes."

The boy looked shocked, "Isabella Swan, is that you? You want those dumb bikes? They don't work." He looked at me with a gaze that was a mix between being shocked and feeling apologetic.

"I kind of figured that from the sign but," I thought of it just then, perfect! "I know a guy who builds cars so he should be able to fix them up."

"Oh nice, well you can just take them, my mom put them out for the trash. You'll need some help getting them into the bed of your truck, I'll do it." The boy started heading out to help me. I looked around, like any fugitive would, and then thanked him when he was done. I rushed down to La Push with a new ambition; motorcycles. As soon as I arrived Jacob ran to me and grasped me into a bear hug. We were all small talk as we walked back into the house. Billy was happy to see me smiling and I think he even called Charlie to tell him. I asked Jake, "Hey, can we take a walk?" He smiled and nodded fervently. He led the way and when we were almost to my truck I told him about the motorcycles, and how they weren't in very good shape.

"I'm sure they aren't too bad. Where are they, I could picked them up if you want."

"Well you see…" I blushed with embarrassment. I then opened my eyes wide with amazement at the thought of blushing with any emotion. I hadn't done that very much since… I didn't want to think about that with Jacob here. What would he do when I collapsed hugging my chest? "They are kind of in the bed of my truck now. But Billy can't know. Charlie doesn't accept motorcycles."

Jake seemed to understand, he smiled and then answered. "Believe me, I know just how to avoid him from finding out." He dragged them into his garage, which was not wheel chair accessible so Billy finding them was no problem. I smiled and thought of how gracefully Jake worked on the bike. How his too big hands were just delicate with the pieces.

Two boys came busting in "Hey Jake," they chorused. I was frozen solid and they laughed at my expression. "Sorry, we didn't mean to scare you, I'm Embry." The taller one with chin length hair stated.

"And I'm Quil, Quil Ateara." The bulky one said with satisfaction. His shirt was tight over his chest muscles and he seemed proud of that.

"These are my Idiot two best friends I was telling you about…" Jake announced. I then asked what time it was. "It's about 8:00." Jake answered wearily, not wanting me to leave.

"Oh boy, I have got to go. Sorry." I said the apology thick in my expression.

"Okay, I guess. Um, when are you going to come back?" Jake said sounding disappointed.

"I was hoping I could tomorrow if that's okay" I hated Sundays; they were seriously the day I couldn't keep myself busy enough. Quil and Embry eyed each other heavy with implications and then giggled.

"Sure, sure" Jake said. Trying to act cool, but he couldn't resist looking a little smug. After I left the garage and headed back to my truck I heard a chorus of "Go, Jake" Followed by some scuffling and so "ouch "and other fight noises. I laughed when Jake threatened them they better stay away from his land tomorrow. Yes, I said that correctly, I laughed. I was feeling light, but I knew the feeling couldn't last for long. I would go home and eat, busy myself with homework. Unfortunately at one point I would fall deep into sleep and have another horrible nightmare. The same nightmare I have every night that scares me to death and leaves me feeling empty at the same time "and other fight noises. I laughed when Jake threatened them they better stay away from his land tomorrow. Yes, I said that correctly, I laughed. I was feeling light, but I knew the feeling couldn't last for long. I would go home and eat, busy myself with homework. Unfortunately at one point I would fall deep into sleep and have another horrible nightmare because I'm sure Jake's presence doesn't keep them away forever. The same nightmare I have every night that scares me to death and leaves me feeling empty at the same time. I got home and was smiling when I walked through the door. Charlie's shocked expression made me giggle, which caused an even more shocked expression than before. I told him I was tired and I was going to bed, and he didn't even respond, still stuck in his amazed stupor. I went upstairs and was quite surprised on how exhausted I really was, and part of me couldn't wait to be with Jake the next day. I got into bed and starting drifting slowly into sleep, next thing I knew it was morning. Wow, Jacob is the cure to my nightmares. I clutched at my chest waiting for the pain but it didn't come. I smiled as I started getting ready for the day with Jake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer; I do not own twilight plots or characters. My plot twists and new characters are the only thing I own.**

**A/N; I have been trying to update frequently but with my busy life it is hard, although you seem to understand.**

BPOV

As I climb out of bed, I can't contain the excitement to see Jake again today. Strangely his presence seems to plug up the whole in my chest, not only in his presence, but continually through the night ridding me of my horrendous nightmares. Although Jacob has helped me the last few nights, I know that he can't keep away all of my pain and sorrow. I still hurt and long for _him _more than I thought possible, but it was bearable now. A distracti0oon has appeared a small light in my dark cave. When the light goes out, there will be the darkness swallowing me up again. Also, the bikes are a way to break my promise, and that thought brings a rush of adrenaline down my spine.

The excitement of the day planned ahead made me almost sprint into the shower. I quickly washed my hair and shaved my legs. I rushed back to my room, and clumsy me, slipped and fell. I sighed and got back up, slowing my pace just to be safe. I dressed in a hurry, though, and was down in the kitchen before fifteen minutes had gone by. I quickly grabbed a strawberry pop tart and was out the door. It wasn't until I left the house and halfway to La Push did I notice that I hadn't left a note for Charlie. I could call him once I got to Billy's.

It was the first day since I got my truck that I wished the speed limit wasn't a constant fifty-five. Usually the unusual slow pace of my truck did not bother me, but today it put me on edge. Finally, I arrived in La Push and before I could pull my keys out of the ignition my door was open. I turned to see a big-grinned Jacob staring back at me. "Bella!" Jacob yelled with excitement, "I thought you were joking about coming over again today. If you spend too much time with me you may get sick of my company." His tone was unmistakably joking, but I could tell by the tiny tightening of his eyes, that the worry was very real.

"Jake, there isn't a way you could make me leave. Unless you want me to go…" I said trailing off as I saw him smile and shake his head.

"Never bells, I'll be here as long as you want me, I'll never turn you away." I could tell his promise turned more serious at the end. He was referring, with no doubt, to how Edward left me. It hurt, for him to just say it out like that. A few silent tears slid down my cheeks, and as I tried my hardest to nonchalantly wipe them away before Jake noticed, his mood automatically dimmed. "Bella, what did I say? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you." He embraced me in a hug and he was really warm. I didn't need to clutch at my chest, because Jacob's grasp was firm enough. I liked the feeling of someone else holding me together, that someone else cared enough to hold me while I sobbed into their chest for hours.

* * *

As the months passed I saw Jacob more and more, he was the best friend I had ever had. He helped me when I was sad, and it was nice to be in very sturdy warm arms when you most wanted to fall apart. He was careful what he said from that day on, but he continued to joke and laugh constantly. I needed him there to brighten my dark days. In the beginning I though of him as my lamp, but as I got to know him better, I realized that he was my sun, not brightening my life just a little, but brightening it almost fully whenever I was around him. His smile and laughter made my mood great too. But as the months went on I saw something in his eyes that could only be love, and sometimes I thought I took things to far. I didn't feel that way with Jake, he knew that, but I continued to hold his hand and hug him and cuddle with him. Was I the one give him these ideas? Sometimes, even a simple rejection to hold his hand, or when I shrug his arm off my shoulder, brings him sadness. He usually turns away, but I can catch the hurt in his eyes before he can conceal it. It's a horrible thing, thinking that I hurt him, and it hurts me too, deep down and to the core. I realized that Jacob's pain hurt almost more than my own, and I knew I had to fix this mess. So, a week ago I told him that I needed him, as a friend; that my heart wasn't capable of anything more. He tried to act all cool, telling me he didn't mind, but the tightening of his eyes gave him away every time. I haven't seen Jacob Black since. He is "sick". I don't know why I am so suspicious. Maybe it's because it happened right after I told him we could only be friends, maybe I could try to be more, for Jacob's sake. If he gave me some time maybe I could try, but I needed my sun back. I was back to the zombie days that I thought I had abandoned months ago. I need Jacob Blck, and today I was going to go get him. No matter what Billy says.

* * *

JPOV

Bella had just told me we could only be friends, I knew that this was the case, but somehow anger overtook me. I couldn't make sense of any of it, I wasn't mad at her, she needed time and I understood that. _Then why are you freaking out so bad you're shaking, Jake? _My mind screamed at me. God Jaake, calm down. I tried bnut the shaking wouldn't stop. I felt my temperature rising, and it felt like my hearing got better, like I heard the brook down the street. Could that be? All of the sudden I hear the rip[ping and shredding of my clothes _What's happening to me? I have paws, what the hell?_

_Jake, it's okay calm down. I'll explain everything. _Sam thought.

_I can hear you in my head, what's wrong with me._ _I'm so confused, I think I might faint. _I thought.

_Chill dude, seriously it's okay_ A voice like Embry Said _Yes Jake, it's me. This is what has been happening to the rest of us as well. Man, me and Quil wanted to tell you but we couldn't It was so hard, we missed you._

_You guys turned into giant dogs too? _I asked, clearly baffled that I could do this

_Jake, try to calm down and I'll explain it all._ Sam said calmly. I concentrated on Bella to calm me, on how happy I would to see her next…

_That's just it Jake, you can't see her just like we couldn't see you_ Embry piped in.

_She NEEDS me you don't understand, I can't leave her like Edward did, I can't so that to heer, She's already broken enough._

_You have to Jake, _I felt my knees weaken at the order I so obviously couldn't disobey. _You must not tell anyone of what you have become. I know you don't really know what that is, but think of the legends Jake. Think hard. _


End file.
